Belonging; a language of love.
Earth loves you unconditionally; a love that flows continuously and abundantly beneath our feet and all around. But, are you able to receive it?
Sacred Sessions Ireland isn’t about connecting to the sacred sites of Ireland just so we can tap into the powerful energies deep beneath ancient monuments, as cool as it is! This work is designed to support us in re-connecting with the earth, re-awakening ancient wisdom of the land of our ancestors and re-building our relationship with Self.
This is a homecoming.
For many years, probably beginning with my early teens and up until young adulthood, I was disconnected. Unconsciously cutting myself off from the parts of myself that were in pain and hiding parts of myself I deemed unsafe and unlovable. A life of disconnection means living from a place of fear, caution and anticipation. There can be no rest when you’re trying to find where you belong. Before my teens, well, before I got boobs and boys fancied me, I was known as a real ‘tomboy’. I loved climbing trees and hay bails, going on adventures, playing with Barbie and with toy guns (both equally dangerous) and I spent most of my childhood at the stables, caring for and riding horses - especially the horses deemed too wild. Looking back, I don’t think I was fearless, rather I was living moment to moment in deep trust with life; a life, I never felt separate from.
As a child, I was deeply connected with life and all living beings. I belonged to life. I came into this world speaking the language of belonging or maybe or all began with the horses. I began horse riding at age 4 and before we had fancy horse riding instructors, my dad was like my ‘instructor’. He taught himself through reading books. It seems ridiculous now, you can read all the books on being a show jumper but that won’t make you a show jumper! Of course later we had professional instructors but I like to think the horses taught me or I taught myself through listening deeply to them. I was always in constant communication with the horses, it’s like we were learning how to belong to one another. I knew when they were happy, mad, not in the mood or raring to go and I knew what they would do before they did it! I could sense when they would last minute dodge a jump so I would move with them, when they’d stop abruptly so I would brace myself, when they’d take off galloping so I grip my legs around their bellies holding on for dear life; half terrified, half exhilarated. I used to talk to them, quietly inside my head during a lesson or competition, but its like they could still hear me, I never doubted it. And when we were alone in the stable I spoke aloud. Of all the horses I have known there was one, Taylor, who belonged to the stables but who I loved like my own. Most summer evenings or weekends when my Dad was late to collect me, the lights would go off in the yard and nervously I would go to Taylor’s stable to seek comfort. I would sit on the ground and I would talk to him. It never occurred to me that he wouldn’t understand what I was saying - even though he didn’t talk back in English, I knew he could hear me, maybe it was a feeling or an energy exchanged but we had our language and overtime, whenever I sat in his stable he would lay down next to me.
Years later, when I was in my early 20’s my Mam hired a psychic medium to come to our house and give readings. I grew up in a spiritual household so psychics, angels, spirits and energy healing was all very normal! For my reading, there were many spirits that came through to connect with me, not just grandparent energy, which is beautiful and always a joy, but this psychic was able to bring through Spirits of the past, relationships that weren’t pasted all over social media but relationships that shaped me. First, was a boy named Martin, my best friend in junior infants. I remember us playing in the school yard excited to swop dog keyrings that we collected and other kids would circle us calling him names like ‘baldy’ and laughing. I didn’t know then, but he had leukaemia and lost all his hair during treatment. This psychic told me Martin died of leukaemia at age 14 and he came through to say thank you for being his friend even when no one else wanted to. In Irish Catholic Schools, girls and boys are separated after junior infants to join either an all girls school or an all boys school. I saw Martin once after junior infants at a swim class and we were maybe 10 or 11 and too shy to talk, we just smiled and waved at the diving boards. I didn’t know that he passed a few years later but reflecting on our friendship, those little kids who so easily saw past illness and looks were able to find belonging based purely on the energy of who we were.
There were other spirits that came to visit that evening, a friend who I was in love with most of my young life who was murdered in his early twenties, and a boy, who during my show jumping years was my main competitor, I always came second to him but I didn’t care because he was kind and pretty gorgeous. Sadly, he took his own life and was found hanging in a stable. Needless to say this was a heavy reading, and I was most shocked about the last Spirit that came through; Taylor. When the psychic said a horse came through, I immediately perked up and named horses I had owned over the years but he said no this was never your horse but you would come to sit and talk with him in his stable for hours. He said he loved our conversations and me very much. It was the confirmation I never needed.
Before secondary school (before I was officially a tween) I experienced a big trauma which caused me to go almost mute for a year. I remember my Mam gifting me my own Angel Oracle cards to journal with, I joke and say that Angels were my first therapists! She also brought me to her spiritual friends for group Reiki healing. I remember the faces of all those beautiful and kind women gathering around me, crying as they lay their healing hands on my body, tears streaming down my face but still no words came. Despite the love that surrounded, by the time I entered the milestone that is secondary school, I was disconnected. I was disconnected from myself, I stopped trusting life and people, it was a time where I tried desperately to manage myself as the only way I knew how to manage life itself! I now know that I was trying to minimise shock, pain, grief, emotions that are inevitable in life. I was both incredibly cautious and rebellious. I took risks and got myself into sticky situations but I also lived in my head trying to anticipate the future; how will people receive me? Will I be liked? Will he like me? What will I wear? How much make-up and fake tan? Looking back on pictures it seems a whole bottle of fake tan was needed. Yikes! I was so busy trying to figure out how to fit in I forgot what it felt like to belong.
God, I love that girl. She got a raw deal and she did her best to survive. We give our teenage selves such a hard time but are they not the bravest versions of us? I’m sad for her and what she went through, what could have been, but, we made it through. It took time, actually many more years of pain and disconnection as a young adult trying to fit in until finally, I found my way back home.
I am home albeit I’m not climbing trees but I am talking to them! And the odd hug when no one is watching. I prepare and make offerings for the land and for the beings who don’t speak aloud in English but can feel the energy behind every word, every prayer, every gesture. Today, I am more connected to myself than ever. As a little girl I was creative, sensitive, poetic and intuitive and now as an adult having embarked upon a great healing journey that led me back home to myself, I find that I am creative, sensitive, poetic and intuitive. As I heal, I connect deeper to myself and to life where I belong, where unbreakable bonds are possible with all beings. Who knows, maybe in another 10 years a psychic medium will arrive at my house to tell me a Tree Spirit has come through ‘from the other side’ and will tell me how much they loved our chats, how much they were glad I sat next to them all those evenings sharing my secrets and listening deeply to theirs.
When we’re disconnected from ourselves and from the earth, life becomes about fitting in, moulding ourselves and dimming our Light so we can feel safe, it’s driven by our primitive and desperate need to belong. When you reconnect to yourself and when you rebuild your relationship with the earth, life isn’t about fitting in anymore, its a remembrance that you have and always will, belong. We belong to the earth first, she is our ultimate Mother who loves us unconditionally. A love we have access to all of the time, we just need to ask ourselves, am I able to receive it? So as I reflect on my healing journey (which of course never ends) I see that I needed to heal those deep-seated wounds the ones I ignored and pushed down as a teen, a time when I didn’t have the skills or support to deal with them. And I needed to heal what was blocking me from receiving the unconditional love of the earth, a love that was waiting for me all this time. As we heal and transmute subtle blocks like trauma, heavy emotions, programs and beliefs, etc, we begin to reconnect and embody our authenticity, deepen our connection to our purpose, open our spiritual gifts and re-member who we are, after all that is our greatest contribution to this world.
I co-create and facilitate energetic containers that support our reconnection with the earth, the land of Ireland and ourselves. By connecting with vast, powerful and healing energies within nature we can heal and rebuild our sense of belonging.
Through energy work we can re-learn the language of belonging, imprinting its energy so our body remembers what it feels like to belong - to be our full selves and feel safe, to be authentic and be celebrated. The more we practice being in right relationship with the earth, the more it will ripple out into our lives transforming our relationships, our work, and our being.
Sacred Sessions Ireland was born from a curiosity of the subtle wonders of Ireland and a devotion to the land who loves me. It brought me home to that little girl who climbed trees and jumped hay bails, who learned to communicate with horses and the magic of life all around her.
Connecting to the land and sacred sites has benefits so vast we’ll probably never truly comprehend, but for me, being able to receive the unconditional love of the earth, a boundless infinite energy that flows right beneath my feet has transformed me forever. My greatest hope is that through this work, you too will find your sense of belonging and receive the love that not only you deserve, but that you are.
